More from Katie and Adam's wedding

Katie and her father

dancing under the portico at

the Daughters of the American Revolution

the cake

centerpieces

happily ever after.

In Defense of Wedding Planners

I am beyond upset at the Knot right now at their recent article titled "Confessions of Wedding Planners".

For all of you brides out there who read every word of this generally usefully magazine, please know that your wedding vendors are there to help you. Below is the letter I wrote in response to the Knot.


I was so sad to read Meredith Bodgas' article titled "Confessions of Wedding Planners". As wedding vendors, we all work incredibly hard and long hours and are in the business because we enjoy what we do (or we shouldn't be in the business). I'm beyond frustrated at what was written and truly feel that the planners you interviewed have no business being a wedding planner and working with brides.

During my initial meeting with brides, I always tell them to think of me as their personal assistant. That is what we are there for. Or at least, that is what my brides hire me to be. I expect my clients to think of me as a personal confidant and would rather they get upset and vent to me than to cause unnecessary friction with their family or other vendors. I am there to ease their worries. Doesn't every wedding planner claim to "take the stress out of the big day"?

The professionals you interviewed need to learn to be professionals. If they feel that something is not in the job description that they created, they should say so (or hold their peace and not complain about it later). Brides are new to all of the situations and relationships that they are being exposed to. Wedding planners should be there to walk them through it all, even if you sometimes have to be tough and tell the bride something they don't want to hear.

I am frequently asked to tell the stories about "bridezillas" and even though I have had some unique requests and some challenging situations, I am always excited about that challenge. I do not consider any of my former or current brides to be "bridezillas" as I set the expectations up front with all of my clients. If I don't get along with a potential bride or am unable to see their vision, I don't accept the job. It becomes an intimate relationship throughout the year, so both the bride and the planner should be on the same page. I believe that I have been hired to be the problem solver, not to make excuses.

Wedding planners often are seen as a luxury and potentially an unnecessary expense. I would love to tell my clients to pay me after their wedding as I have yet to have a bride who does not realize the amazing value that wedding planners add to their overall experience. I am extremely disappointed that a wedding magazine would try to discredit the wonderful work that so many planners do.

Lilybrooke on Baby Shower Etiquette

Baby shower etiquette and planning tips

Michelle Bruns Maffei

What better way to celebrate the pending arrival of a new baby than by honoring your favorite mom-to-be with a baby shower? Should you throw a baby shower for the second child? Who should host? We answer your top baby shower etiquette questions so you can host a baby shower that will knock their booties off.

Not sure where to start on your baby shower planning? “My advice is to make it fun and simple. It should be a fun time for the guests, as well” offers Brooke Sheldon, event planner, Lilybrooke Events. “So, keep it light and almost cocktail party or birthday party style.”

Ready to plan the baby shower of the century? Brush up on these baby shower basics before you even plan your first detail:

Who can host the baby shower?
Traditionally, family was not “allowed” to host the big bash, but times are a-changing as fast as baby’s diaper! From aunties to godmothers to friends, the hostess with the mostest is whoever wants to honor the pending arrival of your sweet pea.

The exception to the rule? According to professional family organizer Tonia Tomlin, “The only people who should not host the shower are grandmothers-to-be, and the mother-to-be herself.” If you do not fall into either of these categories, host away!

Family showers, co-worker showers & friend showers
From family to coworkers to friends (or those that fit in multiple categories), the guest list can be as long as the first night a new mom brings home her new bambino from the hospital. Many expecting moms will have multiple baby showers thrown by co-workers and family.

Whether you choose to host a family-only baby shower, women-only luncheon, co-worker celebration, or co-ed babyfest, keep the guests lists separate, and only host one bash. “Be sure to not invite the same people to multiple parties even if they cross over. Or, if you do, let them know you either don’t expect them to attend both, or you for sure don’t expect a gift for both,” advises Sheldon.

When should you have the baby shower?
Whether you choose to host the baby shower before the bundle of joy arrives or turn it into a welcoming party for the newborn, getting the Mommy-to-be’s blessing is best. Although you can throw a celebration all the way up to the due date, “most showers for women carrying a single baby take place about two months in advance of the delivery date,” suggests Tomlin.

“For women carrying multiples, the shower should take place no later than the fifth month of gestation.” Just remember to send out invitations at least four weeks in advance.

Should you throw a baby shower for the 2nd baby?
The debate is long when it comes to the etiquette for throwing a baby shower for a family who’s expecting a child that is not their first. But, in today’s modern times, if the sex of the baby is different than the preceding child(ren) or so many years have past that essential baby gear has long gone, let the festivities begin.

Pro tip? “I would suggest making the invitation more fun and about the celebration of the baby vs. giving gifts to get the parents started, “offers Sheldon. “Focus more on a celebration for the new little one.”

Although the etiquette for throwing a baby shower has evolved, the goal remains the same: have fun and celebrate this new life. So, grab a pen, gauge your favorite mommy-to-be’s wishes, and start planning!

http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/Detailed/Baby-shower-etiquette-and-planning-tips-6432.htm

My "Must Haves" when traveling

I just landed in Miami (directly after spending 7 days in Chicago). I'm often asked how I travel as much as I do. When I pack, I think through what my days away will consist of. I pick out my clothes and write down what I plan to wear each day (including shoes, jewelry, etc.) I then add a few of my favorite pieces as extras in case (and in hopes of!) something impromptu popping up. When I'm on a trip, I try to stick to the plan as much as possible, maybe switching the days around here and there if I don't feel like wearing a specific thing that day. It sounds boring and over-scheduled, but it's great to not have to think about what you are going to put on.

I also make sure I have my favorite things with me. My "must haves" for traveling.

#1 A Pashmina. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't leave the house without one. It fits easily in a handbag and is perfect if you're cold as a scarf, or as a blanket on an airplane. It can even roll into a makeshift pillow when needed. Everyone should have one. Scratch that. Everyone should have one in every color!

#2 My Make Up Give Train Case. Yes, it does actually take up 1/4th of my suitcase, but it includes anything that I need for my washroom routine. And everything has a place. I couldn't live without it. I've even given you a sneak peak into the inside of my case. https://www.shopgive.com/product_info.php?products_id=42

#3 My ipod. Of course. You never know when you're going to have an opportunity to explore the area with a run, so having my music with me provides even more incentive. And to this note, I will add my camera (and laptop). I don't leave home without them!

#4 Traveling with so many electronics means traveling with many cords to keep them all running. I have one bag specifically for all my electronics

- phone charger, camera charger, camera cord to upload photos, ipod charger,

and an extra USB because you never know...

#5 And finally, all of my items go in my Tumi bag that I adore. I rarely check my bag when traveling and since my suitcase is such a large part of my life, it's more of an accessory. A handbag. Good luggage is worth the investment. Good luggage with a great warranty is even better.

And now you know what makes traveling easier for me. I figured out what items I always had with me and then I gave them each a home in my suitcase. Of course there are the standards: eat fruits and veggies, drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep. And when going through security at the airport: put your items on the belt in the order that you want to take them off 1) shoes, 2) bag that holds laptop (so you can open it and have it ready, 3) laptop, 4) suitcase. And you're off!

Happy Travels!

Corporate Lessons

I'm in Chicago for a week-long, international, corporate meeting. I don't enjoy the corporate event planning as much as weddings and social events as there is less emotion involved. This week's annual meeting is one exception.

At dinner last night I was talking with a man from Ghana. It was his first trip to the United States and was asking me questions as he planned for a vacation in my homeland with his wife and family. His questions were thoughtful and touristy and I felt a touch of sadness for all of the little everyday things that surround me that I take for granted. Tonight I watched this man proudly and enthusiastically pick up his first bowling ball and learn how to bowl.

As we are just weeks away from the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, I am reminded of a German man I met while I was working in Munich during the 2004 World Cup Soccer matches. He had told me how the collapse of the Berlin Wall had been a horrible thing. He was from East Germany and had lived within the confines of the wall his entire life. His family and friends had grown up near him and they all took care of and supported each other. Once the Wall was down, life was not that simple, jobs were not easy to come by and finding enough money was a never ending challenge. He explained that growing up he was only allowed to travel a very small distance. Now, he could travel anywhere in the world. Seeing the endless possibilities that were now in front of him, I was so excited for him. I assumed that it must be so liberating um...being liberated. He did not agree. He was happy before the Wall came down and he had no desire to travel. Since leaving East Germany had never been an option it didn't feel like he was missing anything. He told me that you can't miss something you don't know about.

I can't begin to understand the changes he has seen in his lifetime. And I can't fathom what it is like to have your curiosity stifled. I wish I could talk with him now to see how he has adjusted. To see where he has been.

I can only think of the lessons he, and may others I have met along my journey, have taught me. Next week I am off to Miami for another corporate meeting. A whole other set of lessons.

Cheesy Manhattan

On my flight to Chicago today I read a story in the Wall Street Journal about Mac 'n Cheese hitting New York's trendy eateries. Maybe it is a sign of the times that people are striving for comfort in foods, but I was a bit surprised that it has taken this long for this story to come out. Great restaurants have been serving amazing macaroni and cheese combinations for years. As a caterer, one of my personal favorites has been lobster mac 'n cheese.

My wedding clients are always striving to make their wedding unique, but the questions they ask along the way are "What are the rules? What do we have to do? What is right?" I can not iterate enough to every bride and groom that, just like life, there are no rules. Of course there are etiquette guidelines that should be followed, but the best and easiest way to make your wedding unique is to add things you love. Simple additions to show off your style and personality are far more reaching than large budgets. So don't be afraid to insert some flare and creativity, even if it's mac 'n cheese during your cocktail hour (which is popular by the way).

I'm thrilled about this article and am wondering if Macbar has an open reservation for Thanksgiving. How can you not be thankful with a plate of cheese in front of you?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704107204574469280985118244.html

Beautiful Eyelashes

I adore girl products. Everything scary from the sticky stuff we put in the heel of our shoes to make them stay in place to an eyelash curler that I cannot live without out. I love it all. That said, I am not high-maintanence and have a style that is more classic than plastic, but when I heard about Latisse, it was a dream come true. If you are not familiar, Latisse is a new product that makes your eyelashes grow longer and thicker.

Since childhood, I have had a scar on my eyelash and am missing a few lashes (maybe 2 or 3 if you really want to be technical). Yes, 99% of the world, of my closest friends, of my relatives have no idea. You cannot easily tell. But I know. I've known for years. And the FDA has given me this gem of a liquid in a tiny bottle with promises of filling in my gap.

It will take almost three months for my results to really be noticed, but I am excited and would offer this recommendation to anyone who is looking for longer, fuller lashes. You do have to have a prescription, but beauty secrets this good deserve to be told.

Hoekstra for Governor

I am thrilled to have been recently named the Fund Raising Event Coordinator for the 2010 Pete Hoekstra for Governor Campaign in Michigan. In this role, I will be responsible for coordinating all aspects of fundraising events including guest list planning, invitations, Rsvp's and menu's.

I worked for Congressman Hoekstra in 1997 in his congressional office in Washington, DC and then again on his campaign in 2004.

I enjoy the diversity that my business brings to me and the political component is always a welcome addition. 2010 is going to be an exciting election year across our nation and regardless of your viewpoint, I encourage you to become involved. It's an amazing process and truly a reason to be thankful that we are Americans.

Hope College Alumni Lacrosse Game. Ouch.

I made a last minute decision to participate in the Hope College Alumni Lacrosse game during homecoming this weekend. I have not picked up a stick since 1996 (other than to move it from city to city with my other personal belongings).

42 lacrosse players came out for the game. 24 of them were alumni. 18 were current Hope College lacrosse players. 1 girl. (Since my tenure, the school has sense added a woman's team). I laced up my shoes, put on my shoulder, rib and elbow pads and put on a helmet that has never felt comfortable. How hard could it be...

Having successfully run my first marathon in July, I had a false sense of security. Team sports that involve sprinting are nothing like running a marathon. 30 seconds later I was out of breath and miserable. After hacking on a nearby player as many times as possible, I quickly exited the field and took my turn on the sidelines. I noticed that the other team's players of current college students were not even sweating as they came off the field. Ahh, this "alumni" game appears to be an homage to getting older. But worth it. And I'm looking forward to next year!

Endurance

One of my favorite nouns is Endurance.

I’m not sure if it’s really endurance, competitiveness, or a hatred of wasted time, but I find most situations in life as a challenge that I want to achieve. It may be in the form of a staring competition with my dog. Getting ready to go out in record time. Or finding the perfect lemon to pair with my Skyy. Maybe it’s none of the above and just that I love life and want to be awake, alert and ready for anything life tosses my way.

The dictionary claims that patience is a synonym for endurance, but I’m not so sure about that.

When you enter my home, a hand-painted quote on the wall reminds me to “Live Deliberately”. This is not only a homage to Thoreau, but to the person who introduced those words into my life. Every day I attempt to Live Deliberately and hope that I make an impact with the people that I encounter.

I spent the past six days inside a building in Detroit, MI, working for a corporate event from 5:30 am - 9:00 pm every day. I call that endurance. Or a test there of. I wish that I had been born to see Detroit in it’s glory, but since all that is left is a shell of a once-grand city, I use my imagination and my steadfast positive attitude to see it in my mind’s eye. The bright gold of the city’s building’s shining off the water; the Motown Music blaring from new, shiny cars as they parade up and down Woodward Avenue. It really is a magical city and for anyone who has never been there, it is a hidden treasure. But you have to live there to understand what I mean.

As of today Detroit has a 28.5% unemployment rate. That’s for another blogger to tackle. But I call that an endurance that makes my complaining of long work hours unacceptable.

I heart Detroit. I am happy to have spent three years living in one of its suburbs and I am happy to have so many great friends who I can visit when I am in town.

Again. Call it endurance. Call it competitive. Or simply call it life, but Live Deliberately.

Almost Our Time

One of my favorite tasks as an Event Planner is site visits. I adore going any place that I have never been before; be it a city, a building, a home, a park, etc. etc. The list is endless. Anyplace!

Today I spent a few hours with a client who is getting ready to publicly launch a book that he has written (more about the book later). We are searching high and low to be sure that the venue is not only within our determined budget, but that it sets the proper tone for the event. It has to match the story of the book.

A few fun places that we visited today were the Holland Area Arts Council that is a beautiful facility and the Knickerbocker Theater that is part of my alma mater, Hope College. These are very different venues that each offer a unique setting for the book launch. Personally, I’m voting for the stage of the Knickerbocker Theater since many people in life never have the opportunity to be on stage. Much less attend a party on one.

Stay tuned. It’s “Almost Our Time”.