In Defense of Wedding Planners

I am beyond upset at the Knot right now at their recent article titled "Confessions of Wedding Planners".

For all of you brides out there who read every word of this generally usefully magazine, please know that your wedding vendors are there to help you. Below is the letter I wrote in response to the Knot.


I was so sad to read Meredith Bodgas' article titled "Confessions of Wedding Planners". As wedding vendors, we all work incredibly hard and long hours and are in the business because we enjoy what we do (or we shouldn't be in the business). I'm beyond frustrated at what was written and truly feel that the planners you interviewed have no business being a wedding planner and working with brides.

During my initial meeting with brides, I always tell them to think of me as their personal assistant. That is what we are there for. Or at least, that is what my brides hire me to be. I expect my clients to think of me as a personal confidant and would rather they get upset and vent to me than to cause unnecessary friction with their family or other vendors. I am there to ease their worries. Doesn't every wedding planner claim to "take the stress out of the big day"?

The professionals you interviewed need to learn to be professionals. If they feel that something is not in the job description that they created, they should say so (or hold their peace and not complain about it later). Brides are new to all of the situations and relationships that they are being exposed to. Wedding planners should be there to walk them through it all, even if you sometimes have to be tough and tell the bride something they don't want to hear.

I am frequently asked to tell the stories about "bridezillas" and even though I have had some unique requests and some challenging situations, I am always excited about that challenge. I do not consider any of my former or current brides to be "bridezillas" as I set the expectations up front with all of my clients. If I don't get along with a potential bride or am unable to see their vision, I don't accept the job. It becomes an intimate relationship throughout the year, so both the bride and the planner should be on the same page. I believe that I have been hired to be the problem solver, not to make excuses.

Wedding planners often are seen as a luxury and potentially an unnecessary expense. I would love to tell my clients to pay me after their wedding as I have yet to have a bride who does not realize the amazing value that wedding planners add to their overall experience. I am extremely disappointed that a wedding magazine would try to discredit the wonderful work that so many planners do.